Last month I attended a Black Love event that featured famous black couples. During the event, they discussed how they met and provided ways in which they maintained there marriage. I will be starting a series on black couples who are married.
Comedian Kevin Hart married his fiance Eniko Parrish last year in August of 2016. It was recently discovered that he was caught cheating on his pregnant wife. It doesn’t come as a surprise because he admitted that the demise of his first marriage was also due to infidelity. It has been rumored that Eniko was his mistress while he was still married to Torrei his now ex-wife. If this is true, I’m pretty sure she was not shocked when he admitted to having sex with another woman on camera. He apologized on camera but I think he should have privately talked with his wife, he married her not his fans. I also think that he should really consider if married life is for him.
I was extremely excited to interview Michelle and Randell Patterson. They have been married for 21 years and have 2 beautiful sons CJ and Miles. Randell and Michelle have both shared that it is possible to maintain a marriage without infidelity.
Tiffany: How/Where did you meet your spouse?
Michelle: We are both from Jena, Lousiana. Although we are from the same place we did not interact with one another because Randall is 6 years older than me. I had a friend who also happened to be his cousin. She informed that Randall was interested in getting to know me better. I was just getting out of a relationship and wasn’t sure about meeting him but I eventually agreed to go out with him. We had our first date at Chilis restaurant in Lake Charles, Lousiana.
Tiffany: When did you know he/she was the one?
Michelle: When we first met I was 7 months pregnant with my first child. I couldn’t understand why he wanted to date me. He informed that he was interested in me prior to the pregnancy but we were both in relationships at the time. I knew he was the one for me when he promised that he would return in 3 months to take care of me and my unborn child. He was a man of his word, when CJ was 3 months old he returned to take care of both of us. You would never know that he was not the biological father to my son.
Randell: I was interested in Michelle prior to her becoming pregnant. I knew she was the one for several reasons: she is beautiful, loves hard, cares about others and makes me smile.
Tiffany: What is the key to staying married?
Michelle: We make sure that we keep God first in our life in order to maintain our marriage. In addition, we have agreed to date each other. We recognize that when the relationship is getting stagnant, we know its time to plan a date night. We want to keep doing the things that got us together.During date night we take several hours to ourselves. We don’t talk about bills or the children. We talk about things we want to do as a couple like planning a trip or how we can spiritually improve our lives.
Tiffany: What is a deal breaker in the marriage?
Michelle: We have both been in physical and verbally abusive relationships. In addition to enduring infidelity. We have no plans of divorcing but if it ever comes to that point, We have agreed to tell each other that we no longer want to be together instead of cheating on one another. We know how it feels to be cheated on so we don’t ever want to experience that hurt again.
Tiffany: Many people say that it’s not humanly possible to be with one person. Is it safe to say that’s untrue?
Michelle: Yes, in the 21 years we have been together, I can so that we have never stepped out on each other. There have been temptations on both parts but we decided that it was not worth it. Randall has access to my direct messages on FaceBook. When guys inbox me trying to flirt, Randall replies, “Thank you, I’m blessed to have her as my wife”.
Tiffany: What do you think of Kevin Hart infidelities?
Michelle: I was disappointed in Kevin because I believe that everyone deserves a second chance. I’m not surprised because he has cheated before and married his mistress.
Tiffany: If anything tragic happened to your spouse would you stay?
Michelle: I have lupus but it is manageable. In 2009, I was diagnosed with brain cancer. Due to chemotherapy, I lost weight, my hair fell out, and I often experienced nausea. I went from vibrant and independent to my husband feeding and bathing me. He also had to cook, clean, work and take care of the children. I love him to death for everything he has done for the family. If anything tragic were to happen to him, I would do the same for him because he has shown me, unconditional love.
Tiffany: What do you love the most your husband Randell?
Michelle: I love him for many reasons but I love that he spoils me. He cooks, cleans, and often has a warm bubble bath waiting for me when I come home from work. He literally wants me to relax while he takes care of me.
Tiffany: Tell me one thing, good, bad, ugly and beautiful about your marriage.
Good: We are best friends and we have a friendship within our relationship.
Bad: We are both stubborn so we can bump heads on certain subjects.
Beautiful: He loves my siblings and mother just as much as he loves me and the children.
Best Travel Memory: Our 1st-anniversary/ honeymoon trip in Cancun. It was his first flight so that was an adventure in itself. I don’t recall doing much but we had lots of fun.
If you’re married tell us about the good, bad and ugly about marriage!